My husband and I have been wanting to collaborate on something ever since we met. We always knew that we would be speaking and coaching together in some capacity, sharing our wisdom and knowledge.
It’s taken 13 years, but we have finally stepped out in a big way and committed to a Podcast called Unleashed – Living in the Zone.
I’m the hippie yin and he is the corporate yang and together we riff about all thing’s life and business. We get our little mermaid on and go deep into mindset, performance, energy, leadership, and working as a married couple.
In our first episode we share about why we chose the name and what to expect
Why Unleashed – Living in the Zone
For me Unleashed is a word that described just what’s possible. If we took all our limiting beliefs and our thoughts and anything that holds us back, and we just let all that go, then where would we be, and what would we do if we could just be unleashed from all that? And just the thought of that’s exciting.
For people who have big visions and big dreams want to make a difference and an impact with our business and with our lives, the thing that just holds us back are just little things like mindset and our energy and our health and wellness.
As for the ‘Zone’ aspect, we were searching for words, and we were looking at the dictionary, and one of the meanings for zone that came up was “a state that produces achievement with such an extraordinary degree of success that it seems to defy purely rational explanation.”
We have all had moments of being in the zone. When you’re really on your game and everything seems to be flowing with ease, and yet, it can slip away so quickly like a thief in the night, where all of a sudden you’re just not in the zone anymore. So how can we more consistently live in that place, and kind of go behind the curtains where the magic happens of staying in the zone for longer?
Like my background as a personal trainer, I would see when my clients were in the zone, but it would just be for such a short time. What we’re about is how do you take that, what has to come together to produce that zone energy, and how do you just make that more of a day to day thing, like more of a natural occurrence rather than just tiny bits of living in the zone, of being in the zone.
I think if you’re someone that has a business then you know that it’s just not about the doing, about the day to day grind. If you know that there’s a new energy around business now. You can’t just do it the same old way anymore, you have to work on yourself. If you’re sick, then who’s doing the business? You have to look after yourself, and your energy is so important to the success of your business as well.
If that interests you, if maybe you’re a husband and wife team and you’re in business together, then we’ve got some great 13 years of practical experience and lessons and values and stories. Some challenges and storms along the way that may help you out as well.
franchise, or it could be service that you provide. You could have a few employees. Or manage a team for that point. It’s really about understanding the new energy that’s required in the year 2019 and beyond to run a successful business with ease and flow rather than struggle.
A little bit of background on Moi
I’ll put a backstory around that. I got quite burnt out in 2012. I was diagnosed with stage two adrenal fatigue. I say that I contracted BOSOMOCO, I was burnt out, stressed out, maxed out and checked out. For me, I was all about the doing. I had been in business for myself for, I think, 20 years. I was a high achiever, very goal-orientated, and just that type A personality that was very driven, and so I was all about the doing.
I had stated a luxury dayspa and retreat in 2011 and within eight months, we had that business to the best Australasian day spa, and I celebrated for a nanosecond, and then I said like, “What’s next?” I was all about the next thing. “What’s next?” And for me what was next was six months laid up in bed because my adrenals were so tapped out, and I literally could not work. I’ve written a book about this called the Stressless Revolution if anyone wants to go here and check it out.
But for me, I had to learn a different way to do business, and so that’s where the ‘BE’ comes in, because if we are so fixated on the doing but we’re not working on ourselves, we don’t have a practice of meditation and of healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle, and we’re not exercising and we’re not, I guess, coming from a place of centeredness and groundedness and really looking at our values and looking at our beliefs, and doing the self-actualizing work that comes with being a better human being, that’s the being.
I heard Marion Williamson say that we can’t let our doing be at the expense of our being. Our doing has to be grounded upon our being. We have to base ourselves on that holistic approach to life and business. Then, what we do is kind of the excess of that.
Understanding Masculine and Feminine Energies
Understanding Masculine and Feminine energies played a big part in our relationship and our business. When we learnt about the dynamics of masculine and feminine. We all have masculine and feminine energies, but when Ian and I stepped into our true authentic power, as me as the feminine and him as masculine, then we kind of gave each other permission to really be in our power and to be able to express that in our natural way. It was really great to explore that.
Then we work in business as well, using both those energies to… The masculine is very dynamic and the feminine is magnetic, and we need those two energies because when you’re just working in one, then there’s going to be an imbalance. If you’re just working in the masculine, then you’re going to get burnt out, because you’re all about the pushing and the striving, and if you’re just working in the feminine, nothing’s going to happen, because you’re all about the receiving and just the being, and the, “Oh yeah, this is really nice.”
You need to balance those two energies, but work in your core, authentic energy. It’s a great topic to deep dive in, and to be able to explore that, especially when you’re working with a partner who’s masculine or feminine, and how to be able to let them be in their authentic energy and not dismiss that or bring them down in any way.
Feeling like equals and dealing with low self esteem
In regard to our backgrounds, I trained as a nurse, but I kind of all always had the energy of an entrepreneur, because once I learn something, I’m like, “What’s next? What else can I learn?” And that’s my thing, I love learning in life. Once I trained as a nurse, I worked in pathology for a while, and got to a point in life where I wanted to try and help people before they got to the sick stage, so I then became a personal trainer and a holistic massage therapist, and that’s when I started my own business. I was about 28 at the time. That’s when I got very into natural therapies.
When I met Ian, I had a personal training business, and we had the long-distance thing for nine months, and then I left my business and moved to Sydney, to be with him. Ian had a training and development company, and so I kind of said, “Well I’ll slot in here wherever I fit.” And that was a journey in itself, because I had never been married before, I had moved like across different states, and I was immediately a stepmother to two kids, eight and 11, and I’d left all my friends and my family and my support system and my business. Talk about stressful.
It was a challenging time, particularly when I arrived into a business that was kind of already established and had to work out where I fit in. This goes for any husband and wife team. When one partner feels that they’re less valued or less valuable than the other then it causes issues.
We went in as equal partners, but Ian was kind of the face of the business, and my job was… well, I thought I could do the admin or something. There’s a lot of husband and wife teams that do that, where the wife stays home and does the admin and that’s great if admin is your zone of genius and that’s what you love to do. But for me, I think we found early on that it wasn’t my zone of genius.
After a while, I kind of felt like a bit of a tile in the wall, because I was used to being the one out there in front working one on one with people and in group settings, and all I was doing was sitting in an office.
Yet all that came from a sense of low self-worth. There were parts of my life where my self-esteem was kind of low, and then it just triggered me in some areas, where we had the business and you were out there getting all the accolades and the glory and I was back at home sitting in an office by myself. That was something that I needed to work on within me, though, and the biggest lesson I got out of that was that I needed to be working in what I call the zone of genius, so in that place which is my happy place, which makes me come alive, which was being out there in front of people and helping people and coaching people to be the best that they can be.
So now I still manage the online side of our business, because I love the online space, I love the online marketing and the websites and now the podcast and everything, but I have created programs of my own, especially with women entrepreneurs, where I can fulfil that part of me that I want to be able to get out there to the world, but we can also work together as well.
It’s all about believing in yourself.
When I was in grade three, nine-years-old, my family moved across town, so I had to change schools. I was a week into a brand new school, still getting to know people and trying to make friends, and I’m the quiet kid, I’m very introverted, so it was quite hard for me. I was finding it really difficult. About a week into school, the teacher was telling us to clean out some paperwork and throw some papers out and keep some, and I obviously wasn’t listening because I threw some things out that I shouldn’t have.
Her reaction to my little clean-out was to put me on a stage where she taught from with the chalkboard at the back, and she put the bin at my feet, she sat the whole class down, and then she proceeded to tell me to pick the papers out of the bin one by one. As I picked them out, she would tell me that I was the dumbest little girl she had ever taught. I picked the next one out, and she said, “You will never amount to anything if you don’t listen,” and it just went on and on. I was crying my eyes out, and the class were laughing at me, and I was just utterly humiliated.
That kind of stuck with me, and years on, I didn’t remember it, but my report card certainly reflected that from that incident, I took on a belief that I was stupid. So I didn’t try in school, because what was the point? Like she should know. She was my teacher. So I thought, “Well if I’m dumb, then I’m not going to be able to do any good at school,” so my reports from then on were dismal.
And years later, I was trying to get into nursing and I had gone through two interviews and I failed, and the third interview, I’m like, “I can do this, I can do this,” and a little voice in my head said, “Well you can’t. You won’t pass. You’re too dumb.”
And I’m like, “Where did that come from?” And straight away I was back to that little nine-year-old girl on the stage in front of the class being ridiculed and humiliated. And I was old enough then and aware enough to know that her words could not have power over me anymore unless I let them. So through a process, I changed that belief into, “I can do anything if I set my mind to it,” and I went to the interview and I did the test and I passed, and became a nurse. That’s how freaking powerful our beliefs are, and when we’re not aware of them either, they can do so much damage to our lives.
If you want to listen to the full podcast then click the play bar above and make sure you have a pen and paper handy to take notes.