So, how do you move from where you currently are to where you want to be, and release the brakes and really accelerate the momentum?
Understanding Human Behaviour
Maybe, a good place to start, is to do a quick piece on the theory of understanding human behaviour. Deep in your psychology what you believe and what you value and the standards you set for yourself will have a huge outcome on the behaviour that you do and the results you actually get.
So let’s just pull that apart for a moment. Values, beliefs, standards. A belief in its simplest terms is just whether you give yourself permission or not.
It’s not so much whether it’s right or wrong. You could have a belief that you can’t tell jokes. Well, whether that’s right or wrong doesn’t matter. If you think that way, you’re not giving yourself permission to actually go and learn how to tell jokes more effectively, or permission to understand and study the science of humour so you know what to do to make people laugh.
If your subconscious belief is, “I can’t tell jokes.” Then you’re actually not giving yourself permission to think any differently.
What about you, in the area of beliefs and values? What’s kind of been an underpinning belief that you had to do some work on?
My Belief that led to burnout
A massive belief that I grew up with was that you had to work your arse off in order to get anywhere in life.
I grew up in a country town in a suburb that was nicknamed The Ghetto. It was a housing commission estate. We had no money and I kind of grew up on the streets. So, I got very street smart. There was two ways to get anything in The Ghetto. You either had to steal it, or you worked your arse off for it, and I was too chicken to steal anything, so I got the latter.
My motto was “Suck it up, princess, and get on with it. Life’s not fair, life’s not going to give you a handout. Just get to it and make it happen yourself, because no-one else is going to make it happen for you.”
You’ve got to work hard to do it. So I worked hard all my life. When you do that, when you have that belief that life is, that you have to work hard to get anywhere, then guess what? Life becomes really hard and it will mirror that belief.
I just struggled and just pushed through everything. That was my thing. If an obstacle came up, I would slam it down with full brute force and just slam my way through it. If I couldn’t, then I’d change direction and slam down the next wall, but all that slamming and pushing and striving, eventually it’s going to wear you out.
Something’s got to give, and for me, it was my physical health. I was at the peak of my career, I told the story in our episode two about the spa and how we won Best Day Spa in Australasia in eight months, but what happened for me after that was that I was diagnosed with stage two adrenal burnout. I could not literally get out of bed for six months. I asked myself, “How the hell did I get this? And how the hell do I fix it?”” But what a big thing for me was, guilt.
I couldn’t work, I still had the spa to run. We still had things to do, but I literally could not work. So, I felt all this guilt that I should be doing, I shouldn’t be doing. The biggest question that I had to ask myself was, “Who am I without my work?”
So, it really became a kind of inquiry into self-worth. Because I associated what I did with my worth.
And, in fact, what you believe in and what you value is, underpins your identity, which is your sense of who you are.
Question all your beliefs
So, that started me on the journey of questioning all my beliefs about, do you have to work hard? Do I have to struggle in everything?
I’d look at people and I see life just happens for them. It seems to effortless. So, I went on a journey of discovery where you can work differently and achieve astounding results with less effort, more ease, more flow, more joy in your life by tapping into a different energy system.
That process literally slammed that belief, that you have to work hard, on its ear. I kicked it out the door, and now do life at work totally different.
I love both Doctor John Demartini’s work on this, or even Doctor Wayne Dyer. Doctor Wayne Dyer’s quote is, “Don’t overly cherish your opinions.” You can have them, but just don’t over-cherish them, because your beliefs aren’t necessarily right. So, don’t hang on to them.
I think you have to question the beliefs you took on as a child to if you still have them as an adult, because for me, that belief served me as a kid, because I was in survival mode, but as an adult I didn’t have to be in survival mode anymore.
When you let go of that and replace it with something more resourceful, it’s astounding what can actually happen here, which is why, we talked about beliefs are being about permission, whether you give yourself permission or not.
Your values are more linked to the things that you really deem to be important and your hierarchy of your values. What you have first, second, third, fourth, fifth in your subconscious mind, has a huge impact on the decisions you make, the choices you make. All decisions are processed from your value system.
The way to get some accelerated change is to really put your beliefs and values under the spotlight and examine them, and stop being so unconscious about them.
And examine them without your story.
Like, when we have a belief there’s a story behind it as to why we adopted that belief. So, when they’re under the spotlight and we’re examining, what tends to happen is that we get emotional because it brings up that story.
Then the emotions kick in and we get more emotional and more emotional, and that belief then is strengthened because we’re emotional. So it’s, when we’re doing it, when we’re doing this process of really, in the microscope, “What is that belief? Why do I have that belief?” Like, “Is it true?” Then, you have to step out of your story and step on your story.
Step out of your story and step on your story. Which means you aren’t your story, you’re more than that. You are the lessons that you learned because of your story.
My life was living in The Ghetto. It was hard, but, man, I totally love my story now because it helped shaped who I am today. It’s helped me give me the work ethic and the person that I am. A tenacious little dog with a bone, but that’s because I grew up like that.
When I’m looking at my beliefs, I’m not attached to them, I’m stepping out of them, I’m standing on my story in my higher self and saying, “Is that belief still serving me today? If it’s not, I’m going to flick it out straight away.”
You have to give yourself permission to operate to a different set of beliefs.
I was probably in my late 30s before I realized I don’t, in all areas, I don’t have to continue adopting the same beliefs and values that governed my parents’ life, but I was shaped by those beliefs and values.
As a general rule, 80% of your beliefs and values have been instilled by age seven. So, 80% of what you’re going to operate the rest of your life by, intact by age seven. A lot of what you think about most things, folks, is not actually right, it’s just true and correct according to your current model of the world, and subject to change in an instant.
Being more conscious of what you’re letting into your subconscious mind. I mean, marketing, TV, there’s so many things that influence us these days that you have to exercise some mind control. Again, to quote Napoleon Hill, a favourite of mine from years and years and decades ago, he said you hold the key to the door to set yourself free, and you will do that the moment you realize the key is controlling your own self-talk. Being really conscious of what you’re letting into your subconscious mind.
Yeah. So, that little shift in, “Well, it’s not necessarily true,” then gives you the permission to adopt a different belief.
The Certainty Hack
Now, I’m wondering if you would like a little tool we’ve named the certainty hack. We’ve taken this from various disciplines and our own work we’ve done, combined them together over the last 50 years in the health and wellbeing and wellness space and kind of put this into a simple little six step process for you so that you can hack yourself back into the Zone, or maintain the momentum you’ve got rolling.
The first step, and we’ve talked a little about this over the last couple episodes, is clarity.
Then, creating a really compelling future. We talked about this episode two. If you haven’t listened to episode two yet and you just got forwarded this, or jumped into episode three. Go back, I really encourage you to have a listen to episode two because we talk about the importance of a bold vision.
I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had to work with people one-on-one with a bit of NLP therapy over the years, where, or one-on-one coaching in the executive world, where all that was happening was they’d lost a compelling future. They just have lost sight of a compelling future. So, really, this step is about, look at your current reality of where you are now compared to that compelling future. Where do you want to get to? So, go one year out, what does that actually look like? What will you feel one year out? What will you be saying to yourself? What’ll actually be happening? And that’ll give you a great clarity. Step one.
When I was going through adrenal fatigue, burnout robs you of your dreams because you literally don’t have, you just have not even enough energy to make it through the day. So I lost my compelling future, and I’m a visionary. I’ve always had a vision and that’s what’s guided me, that’s my north star.
For someone like me, and all of a sudden you don’t have a vision, it turns your world upside down. I’m like, well, if I had to step one year out, what do I want my life to look like? I knew that I wanted to be healthy, I knew I wanted to gain energy, and I knew that I wanted to get my life back on track. So that was all I could hold on to for that moment.
Just that was what was the light shining at the end of the tunnel. That gave me hope, and that gave me a reason to lift my head off the pillow in the morning and go onto the internet and learn how to heal myself.
Step two is all about commit. That’s the second C. Commit. This is linking right back to those values we talked about and your identity, your sense of mission or purpose. Why is achieving that compelling vision important to you? Reconnect to your vision, to your why you’re doing it, and your mission and your purpose.
Step number three was your capabilities. That’s the third C. What capabilities, skills or resources do you need? It really helps just to list out on a sheet of paper, “Well, I know I’m currently here, I want to get to there, in terms of my compelling vision. What skills have I already got? What skills am I going to need? What resources am I going to need? What capabilities do I need to develop?” That will help get you even more clarity on how you can get to the outcome.
For me, I needed to learn so many new skills in order to get well again because it was a new thing for me. This was massively affecting my life and I wanted to have every tool in my toolbox to be able to heal myself and be the person that I knew that I could be. So, I had to learn so many new skills, but now that I have them I can just help so many other people.
Okay, then we come to the fourth C, which is to challenge the limiting belief. We’ve actually talked a bit to this one already, but we’ve inserted this into our certainty hack because you’re going to have to shine the light of awareness on, first of all.
5 Questions for challenging your beliefs
- What is the main limiting belief holding you back?
- Why do you think that is true?
- Is it true?
- Is it REALLY true?
- What is a more resourceful belief?
And challenge the person’s thinking around this because as I said earlier, folks, and I don’t mean any disrespect, but most of what you think about what you think right now, is just your current hallucination, based on what you’ve experienced in the world. It’s not actually fact, it’s just true according to your model of the world.
The fourth C was to challenge the limiting belief using that little five sub-step process we’ve just talked through.
Number five. Consistency.
How consistent are you being at doing the actions that will produce the results?
Number six. A Clear plan.Take some massive action.
Just recapping them quickly.
- You got to have clarity on your future compelling vision.
- Commit to it. Why is it important?
- The third C was capabilities. What capabilities do you already have or need?
- The Fourth C, challenge the limiting belief with Karina’s little process there.
- Look at how consistent you’ve been in this area of your life and choose to step it up a notch, and then
- get a clear plan to actually take some massive action.
Those six steps, those six Cs, that’s all you need to get back into the Zone.
It’s a hack to get you back into a feeling of certainty. Then we flow through that momentum flow, where we talked about in episode two. So, really, getting on a roll and getting back into momentum.
If you want to listen to the full podcast then click the play button above and enjoy.